Two 17-year-olds
I’m going to share with you stories of two 17-year-old girls. The stories are true.
It is nighttime and the first 17-year-old girl takes an entire bottle of Tylenol PM. Her plan is to lie down in her bed, fall asleep, and never wake up. She lies down and closes her eyes. Sometime in the middle of the night or early morning hours she gets out of bed. As she stands, the room is spinning. She opens her bedroom door and begins walking down the hallway to her parent's bedroom. Halfway down the hall her body begins to convulse, trying to rid her body of the poison. She vomits and falls to the floor on her hands and knees. She continues down that hallway on her hands and knees and knocks at her parent's bedroom door. Her mother opens the door, sees her daughter and helps her to the bathroom. While in the bathroom the daughter says, "You need to take me to the hospital." Her mother replies, "No honey, you'll be okay. You just have the flu." The daughter replies, "No mom, I took an entire bottle of Tylenol PM." The mother realizes what has really occurred and says "Oh My God!" The mother gets her daughter in the car and takes her to the hospital. Tube down her throat, her stomach is pumped, and she's in a room with a guard outside her door while her mother fills out paperwork for her transport to another hospital for a 10-day stay on the psychiatric ward.
The second 17-year-old girl has a similar plan. It is nighttime and her plan is to slit both her wrists and the vein in her neck, lie down in her bed and let life drain out of her. She slits her left wrist and nicks the right, and she stops. She grabs her left wrist with her right hand and opens her bedroom door and walks down the hallway. She knocks on her parent's bedroom door. Her mother opens the door and sees her daughter. This mother knows immediately the severity of the problem as she sees her daughter holding her bloody wrist. That mother takes her daughter's face and cradles it in her hands and says to her, "Thank you for coming to me. You did a great thing in choosing to live and I love you."
The second 17-year-old girl was me.
At that moment I knew I was loved unconditionally. Look what I had done, and she still loved me. My mom was an ordinary woman with a high school education, yet she said what I needed to hear. And that made a lasting difference in my life. Her words caused me to see my Second Choice.
I chose to live, and she helped me continue my life. I went to work the next day with a large bandage on my left wrist and a smaller one on my right. My mother enrolled me in a group-counseling program. I made up a story that I cut myself on some coral; we were living in Hawaii at the time. I silently lived that story for 27 years. For me the second choice was there, I have had a great life. Since that time I have heard many similar stories from people about their son or daughter, and I wondered why the second choice wasn't mentioned or acknowledged. I began to research crisis and suicide websites and have not seen the mention of it. I now am speaking out about my attempt and the simple, yet profound concept of Power of the Second Choice.
When I share these stories of the two 17 year-old girls, some parents begin to think about their own similar circumstances and wonder, "What did I say?" If you were in this situation and didn't acknowledge the Second Choice, you may not have understood the power of the affirmation your child needed for the courageous Second Choice they made. It is OK to forgive yourself, as you were not aware that there was a Second Choice. Now YOU have another choice. Please seek out your loved one and acknowledge them for the courage they showed in choosing to live.
If someone you care about makes a Second Choice, you have something wonderful to share with them: "Thank you for coming to me. You did a great thing in choosing to live and I love you."
Embrace the Power of the Second Choice!
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